So I have this friend we’ll call Jane, who published her first novel this past summer.
After three years of hard work, Jane was exhilarated to finally see her book on shelves. It was everything she thought it would be, and she was a happy girl over the summer, thanks to the amazing support she received from her publisher, the reviewers, her family, her friends, and her new readers.
But of course Jane knew that simply “being published” wasn’t the end of all the hard work. As much as she secretly wished she could just focus on her second novel, Jane understood very well that part of a published author’s job is to continue to promote her work.
So she did. Every day, she continued to blog, Facebook, tweet, and network with as many people as she could. And she genuinely enjoyed it – talking to other writers and readers is something she loves to do.
Then she got the brilliant idea that maybe she’d start making video blogs. A lot of authors did this, and she’d always enjoyed watching them, so why not make a few herself? What better way to connect with people than to simply talk to them, in video form?
What better way to be more accessible to her readers?
She made a few vlogs. Her friends were amazingly kind and supportive, and they cheered her on, despite her nervousness and anxiety.
But not everybody was kind.
In fact, there were a few creepy assholes not-so-kind people who watched Jane’s vlogs and thought her accessibility meant that she was actually ACCESSIBLE. And these perverts people were quite bold in telling her so. Perhaps they thought they were complimenting her. But Jane did not take it that way.
The comments made Jane feel bad. No, scratch that. The comments made Jane feel like shit. She then realized that she doesn’t have skin thick enough to handle this special brand of unwanted feedback. Maybe someday she won’t care so much what people think. But right now, unfortunately, she does.
So Jane has decided not to make any more personal vlogs. She is now content to talk to her writer friends and loyal blog readers the way she always has, through the written word, which is the way she communicates best, anyway.
The end.
Epilogue:
Jane is totally fine. The vlogs she has already made will continue to stay on her site, because frankly, they required so much time and energy to create that it would be a shame to delete them.
She is also incredibly grateful to all her friends for cheering her on, in everything she does, and is determined to be just as supportive to her friends as they’ve been to her. That’s a promise.
ETA: Just to clarify, the “unwanted feedback” was X-rated and did not come from anybody who’s a regular reader of Jane’s blog. These folks crawled out of the swamp, and then they crawled right back. Jane would like you to know that if you’re even thinking it’s you, IT’S NOT.
Oh my God, I don't even know what to say. Those perver…um…people sure wouldn't want to be stuck in a small room with me lest they find their heads heading nose-first up their…um, well…you get the picture. Tell Jane how sorry I am that a few slimy scumbags ruined her wonderful vlog experience. Much love and lots of friendly hugs!
People are such a**holes. That is terrible. I totally support Jane.
I hope Jane doesn't let the creepy @&&h0les ruin her momentum. She has worked too hard, and come too far to let some cognitively challenged individuals phase her for more than just a cautionary side step. Plus, hey… Free research! 🙂 psychos are everywhere! (that why i have huge dogs 🙂
That is terribly dissapointing. The internet is a great thing, except they don't screen at the door. I am sorry you had some troubles with some people. Always easy for someone that has no care and no class to reach out across cyberspace and ruin your day. I hope you stay like you are, stay above that stuff. Keep your chin up. Just in case, I should teach you to punch.
I'm so sorry to read this. What a shame that a few idiots always seem to ruin things for everyone.
Ewwwww! Poor Jane. I don't understand creeps – what is wrong with them. Glad Jane is coping well – that's awful!
Oh, man, that's not good. Jane will have to get her revenge in her next book and make victims out of the creeps who lurk in the internet's backwater. 🙂
Oh, that's sick! I'm so sorry.
Only "Jane" could handle such a low-life hating-on crime with such grace. It is a sick way to be noticed for hard work and talent, and it's a real shame these a**holes get away with it. We saw this kind of stunt pulled in the newsroom where a reader or a person about whom an article was written would decide to stalk one of the reporters. Just make sure "Jane" stays safe and remembers she is the diamond, and they are the dung heap–and she's going to write another butt-kicking book, and hopefully one day soon they'll get their butts kicked.
That is just awful! I hope Jane knows that she has friends out there in the www too. The trolls and a**holes hide behind their anonymity. It takes balls to put something out there and to have someone ruin it for Jane is just not fair.
Ugh! Poor Jane. Sometimes we get in our own little corner of blogsphere, we decorate it, our friends come and then we venture out thinking it'll be the same. However we quickly get reminded that not everyone in blogsphere is as awesome as those in our little corner. So sorry Jane had this happen. Wouldn't it be great if every corner looked like ours?
Ugh, that's awful! I tend to forget how creepy the Internet can be.
Ech! Creeps! My condolences to Jane, and an extra-big box of chocolates.
Urgh, that's the problem with 'putting ourselves out there'. Like Meredith says, in this wonderful writing community it is easy to forget there are some creepy people out there.
hugs
This is awful. Why are some people…so…so…perverted and rude!
Glad Jane is not letting the pervs steal her happy place. I forget that there are all kinds of sickos out there. Tell Jane to keep her chin up!
Oh no! Not ok! Tell Jane I said she is the awesomest girl ever for handling such horrible yuckiness with grace and dignity!
That's so frightening. I'm so sorry for Jane. I understand no more new vlogs though. I'm petrified of doing them myself.
It's a good thing Jane didn't unleash her army of writers upon these swamp things. I hear some of them have nasty tempers. 😉
Tell Jane we <3 her!
Thanks so much, everyone.
It's hard to put yourself out there, which you all know, because you all blog, too. Posting a video blog is like kicking that up a notch. Or ten. You're letting people see a side of you that only real-life friends get to see — but the problem is, unlike real life encounters where people tend to filter things when talking face-to-face, a vlog on the internet is one-sided. You can see me, but I can't see you.
And this one-sidedness makes some people bold, I guess. It makes them feel like they can say things via the internet that they'd never say to your face.
There are always going to be creeps out there, and there's nothing that can be done about that. I really don't want it to change how I interact with people. I have a potty mouth, I have a dirty sense of humor, and I'm actually quite difficult to offend (if you've read my book, then you already know all this). In short, I'm pretty easy going, dammit! So if I get freaked out, well, just imagine how far you'd have to go.
I'm going to disable further comments on this post because I don't feel the discussion needs to continue. I want to keep things positive around here. Thanks so much for letting me vent.
Big fat hugs to all of you! You guys are awesome. 🙂