My newest book, THE BUTCHER, is out in July, and it stars an 80-year-old retired police chief who has lots of secrets. It was a bit of a gamble for me to write a character so old. I mean, I’m still a spring chicken (*cough cough*), and all my grandparents are dead – what do I know about old people?
It turns out that I actually do know a little bit. Until recently, I lived in a building where 80% of my neighbors were retired. The other 20% were recently separated or divorced (*cough cough*). The building was a fairly social community, with Coffee Tuesdays and Card Thursdays. It was a nice, clean place to live, and many of the residents have been there for over a decade.
For the year that I was there, I lived next door to Del, who’s 92 years old. A feisty old bugger who always wore his pleated pants too high, I always knew he was home and doing fine when the hallway smelled like cherry-flavored cigars and chicken noodle soup, and I could hear M.A.S.H playing at full volume on the TV.
One day last fall, I noticed Del’s door was open. Concerned, I put down my groceries and called out to him. Sounding panicky, he told me to come inside. Of course I did… only to find him on the toilet with his pants down around his ankles, smoking a cigar and grinning like the sneaky bastard he still was. “Hey Jennifer! How’s your day going?”
But it wasn’t always funny. I found him wandering lost in the underground parking garage more than a few times. Sometimes his home nurse (a different one every day) would be running late and he’d knock on my door, asking if I had anything to eat.
The last time I saw him, he didn’t recognize me. Shuffling behind his walker, he looked so lost. “Do you know which apartment is mine?” he asked. “I can’t remember where I live.”
Neither of us live in the building anymore. I’m in Seattle now, and Del has gone on to an old folks’ home. I often wonder if he’s doing okay. I tell myself that he is.
I’ll never forget this conversation we had back in April, when he still had his wits about him:
Del: Hi Jennifer. I thought you were great in that shampoo commercial. I watch it all the time. Comes on every night during Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy.
Me: Shampoo commercial? I’m not in a –
Del: Last night, I says to my daughter, I says, “That’s Jennifer. She’s my neighbor. She writes books but she also has good hair. And my daughter says, “That’s so cool that your neighbor is a celebrity, Dad.”
Me: That’s sweet, Del, but I’m actually not in a shampoo –
Del: And I says to her, don’t take this the wrong way, but I says, “You know, her hair doesn’t look like that every day. Most days it just looks regular. They do that for the commercial, to sell the shampoo.”
Me: Yes, well, most days I do just wear my hair up –
Del: But I wonder, you know, I wonder, how do you find the time to write books and do the modeling?
Me: I’m not a model, I only write –
Del: And they slim you for the commercials, don’t they? Because you look very thin on TV, but I figure what with all the technology nowadays, they can take a little weight off you so that you look good on TV. I mean, compared to how you look now.
Me: Um, I, well –
Del: Not that you’re a big girl, you’re not a big girl, but you do look thinner on TV. And your hair looks good on TV. You should do your hair like that more. You know, make it all straight and shiny. You won’t be single for long if you looked like you do on TV.
Me: I’ll keep that in mind.
Del: Little effort never hurts. That’s what I tell my daughter. She gets mad when I say that, though.
Ha. Sounds like a great old guy, Jenny. The world (and books) needs more characters like Del.
This was both funny and heartwrenching. Watching someone age is so hard. I feel bad that he has a different home nurse each day and sometimes didn't get fed until late. Having a grandpa with Alzheimer's, this really hit home. I wonder if thinking you were in the shampoo commercial was part of the dementia? Anyway, he's right – you SHOULD do your hair like that more often! 😉
Just think about the poor shampoo model. I bet her neighbor says, "FREAK was amazing! You're such a talented author." 😉
Haha! That guy sounds like he won the AWESOME lottery. 🙂 It's great to find inspiration wherever we get it, but even more important is how sweet you've been to this old man. I'm sure he had a blast living next to you, and saw you as another daughter. Or maybe . . . a potential girlfriend, eh?
Carrie's comment is awesome!
Bet he was really interesting to talk to some days.
Aww, what a sweet man. And it sounds like you were a sweet neighbor to him. 🙂
OMG this made me laugh so hard. But it is also very sad–I used to take care of people with dementia and Alzheimers and it was very difficult. I love this post though. Very well written, of course. And I saw you in person and have to say you could definitely be in a commercial! I cannot WAIT for The Butcher!
Haha! This made me feel all warm and fuzzy. Only because we buried my 91 year old grandmother today. She had dementia as well and didn't recognize anyone anymore. But when I was younger, I'd sit for hours with her just listening to her talk about her childhood. She spoke in Spanish to me with a few English words thrown in for fun. She didn't really speak a lot of English, in fact, she understood more than she spoke it. Weird. Anyway, your story reminded me a lot of my grandma. Thank you for sharing it. I'm sure Del is doing great, too.
ps- you do commercials too??? 😉
Aww, he sounds really sweet and funny. Like you I hope he's doing well. Have a great weekend.
Great post, wonderful story, Jennifer. Towards the end of her life my mother lost her sight and gradually retreated into her mind. She stopped communicating and would never talk to anyone. As a teenager, she went to ("finishing") school in Paris, so she was fluent French all her life. One day, when she was pretty much catatonic, I asked her to translate a word into French for me. She responded immediately and what followed was an animated conversation about French words and her time in Paris!
Del sounds like a cool guy. He makes a lot of sense if you ask me.
mood
Moody Writing
LOL that conversation was hysterical. We all have to grow old. I hope I'm just as cool…and pervy.
And congrats on the new book. Looks awesome and I can't wait to read!
Did you ever figure out which shampoo girl he was talking about?
I love that story….very sweet. I'm sure Del it's fine…those homes have games and church sing a longs…a lot even have cats or dogs now. 🙂
That is hilarious! What a great neighbor!
Thanks for the comments, guys! I suspect the shampoo commercial he thought I was in was the one with Nicole Scherzinger. We don't look anything alike but we both have long dark hair. That's my best guess.