Jennifer Hillier

A hitwoman named Maggie and a lizard named God

Jan 23, 2012 | Uncategorized

I’m happy to have my good friend, author JB Lynn, here today. Her newest release, CONFESSIONS OF A SLIGHTLY NEUROTIC HITWOMAN, releases TOMORROW! That’s Tuesday, January 24th, from Harper Collins/Avon Impulse.

I was fortunate to read an early draft of this… what is it? Romantic suspense? Comedic crime thriller? Women’s fiction? You know what, it doesn’t even matter. Whatever you want to call it, CONFESSIONS is fast, furious, and funny, and I ripped right through it. I highly recommend it.

Here’s the blurb:

Maggie Lee is not your average hit woman. For one thing, she’s never killed anyone. For another, after hitting her head in the car accident that killed her sister, her new best friend is a talking lizard – a picky eater obsessed with Wheel of Fortune, who only Maggie can hear.

Maggie, who can barely take care of herself, is desperate to help her injured and orphaned niece get the best medical care possible, so she reluctantly accepts a mobster’s lucrative job offer: major cash to kill his monstrous son-in-law.

Paired with Patrick Mulligan, a charming murder mentor (who happens to moonlight as a police detective), Maggie stumbles down her new career path, contending with self-doubt, three meddling aunts, a semi-psychic friend predicting her doom, and a day job she hates. Oh, and let’s not forget about Paul Kowalski, the sexy beat cop who could throw her ass in jail if he finds out what she’s up to.

Training has never been this complicated! And, this time, Maggie has to get the job done. Because if she doesn’t – she’s the mob’s next target.

You can follow Maggie and God and their hilarious tweets on Twitter at @NeuroticTweets.

Now for the interview:

I was honored when Jenny asked me to do this guest blog post interviewing myself. Then I was completely panicked when I realized I’m not an interviewer. I couldn’t come up with anything to ask myself. That’s why I decided to use the 10 questions James Lipton asks his guests on Inside the Actors Studio.

1.    What is your favorite word?
“sidle”. I overuse it. Or “piquant”. I don’t use that enough.

2.    What is your least favorite word?

3.    What turns you on?
People who are passionate about…something. Excitement about cooking, architecture, Star Trek…anything that’s not mean or malicious, is infectious.

4.    What turns you off?
Unfairness. And reality TV “stars” with no discernible talent or societal value.

5.    What sound or noise do you love?
The crunching of Autumn leaves underfoot and the end of the coffeemaker’s cycle.

6.    What sound or noise do you hate?
Crying and sleet hitting a window.

7.    What is your favorite curse word?
Fuck. It’s a noun, a verb, and an adjective!

8.    What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
A world-renowned chef. No peeling or chopping and no clean-up.

9.    What profession would you not like to do?
Window cleaner. I’m terrified of heights.

10.    If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates?
“Coffee’s ready.”

 About JB Lynn:

A lifelong resident of NJ (something she hopes you won’t hold against her), JB Lynn doesn’t care if the cup is half full or empty; all she cares about is whether it’s regular or decaf! She writes with a parrot on her shoulder, two dogs at her feet and a patient husband in the next room.

When she isn’t at her desk writing, JB indulges her half marathon addiction. She compares physical training to the novel writing process, “Both require discipline and hard work, and you have to be a little bit nuts to put yourself through the ordeal.”

JB is well aware that any success she achieves is due to the tireless efforts of her critique partners, her wonderful friends who embrace her writer’s neuroses, and to you, the reader.

JB can be reached at

Thanks for stopping in, Jen! So happy to have you.

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