Jennifer Hillier

T minus 6 days

Jun 29, 2011 | Uncategorized

I suspect there are things I’m supposed to be doing in these last few days leading up to CREEP’s release, but I honestly have no idea what they are. I’ve got a bunch of interviews and guest posts scheduled for next month (Suspense Magazine,, ITW’s The Big Thrill, Chuck Sambuchino’s Guide to Literary Agents blog, and a few more, I hope). I’m writing my speech for ThrillerFest in New York next week, where I’ll be on the Debut Author’s Breakfast panel. I’m tweeting and Facebooking as much as I can without annoying people. I’ve given away all my ARCs in various contests on other bloggers’ blogs. So I’d like to hope that if you’ve been reading my blog for longer than a week, you already know I have a book coming out, as it’s all I’ve been barfing talking about lately.

(And if I’ve seemed kind of vomitous about the book, I’m sorry. I actually hate it when personal blogs turn into book promo frenzies, and no longer resemble the places that drew you in as a reader in the first place. I sincerely hope that hasn’t happened here, or that would be a big blog FAIL on my part.)

So what else should I be doing? I’m not sure… because, see, they don’t give you a manual on this stuff. There’s no book you can buy called “What To Do The Week Before Your Debut Novel Is Released FOR DUMMIES”.

There should be, though! That would be very helpful!

When I look back at where I was this time last year, all my energy was directed toward CREEP selling. That’s all I wanted. I never once considered all the stuff that would need to get done after the book sold, because I never thought about anything beyond Getting The Book Deal. But this deal happened a year ago. A year! Ago! Where did the time go?

How could the book be coming out already?

Why does it feel like the release date is RUSHING to meet me? Isn’t releasing your first book supposed to feel more like the start of summer vacation, when those last few days of June drag on agonizingly slow, because you just can’t wait to get out of school? Why doesn’t it feel like that?

How is it possible to want something so badly and yet feel TERRIFIED that it’s actually happening?

Why does it feel like it’s happening and I’M NOT READY?

Releasing a debut novel… it isn’t like I thought it was going to be. Nobody tells you how scary it is. Not that I’m complaining, because the joy definitely outweighs the anxiety. And there has been SO MUCH JOY on this journey so far. I have cried tears of happiness on this journey so far.

But I can’t lie.

I’m freaked as all get out.

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