Every inch between my neck and my tailbone is mad at me. Four 14-hour days.
It was SO MUCH WORK.
And of course it didn’t help that I had all kinds of annoying little timeline/chronology issues that had to be addressed. I thought I’d addressed them all in THE PREVIOUS TEN DRAFTS… but I guess not. Thank God for copy editors. This process has totally been a crash course in writing.
And so now, without further ado, here are the top ten things I learned this past weekend:
10. The difference between further and farther. (Gee, I suspected there was a difference, but since nobody’s ever called me on it, I never bothered to learn what that difference was… till now.)
9. Cameltoe is one word. (And should you decide to click on this link to Urban Dictionary because you don’t know what cameltoe is, just know that this Jenny does NOT have cameltoe with her new leather pants!)
8. Jello should be written as Jell-O. (And I have to say, I was alarmed to see that I had used this word three times… in a story that has nothing whatsoever to do with gelatin-based food products.)
7. Italics are not the enemy.
6. “Excess dialogue tags are,” he said.
5. You cannot partially make up a college football Bowl game that took place in 1980. You either make it up all the way, or you stay true to what really happened. Because your copy editor will LOOK IT UP and NAIL YOU ON IT, including notes on the actual players’ names and the final score.
4. There is no Nike Cup at USC Irvine. It’s at UC Irvine.
3. Bum-fuck has a hyphen.
2. Batshit does not.
1. The same character cannot wake up in a bed AND a leather chair at the same time.
Like I said, copy editors rule.
Wow, thanks for sharing this. I had no idea that cameltoe is one word or you hyphenate bum-fuck. Interesting stuff. (I'm not giggling at you, I'm giggling because this is really interesting.)
Ha! This post is hilarious, though I feel your struggle with the edits. Hmm? I'll have to check my spelling of cameltoe in my manuscript. I probably spelled it wrong also.
The whole bum-fuck and batshit issue has me totally confused now! What about dick-wad? Or is it dickwad? *sigh*
You deconstruct your lessons very well. The mechanics can sometimes be tedious and distracting from the creative process.
Those editing comments make for good advertising.
Wow — that copy editor is one thorough dude!
Haha, love these! Always good to know how to spell batshit. 🙂
ha! Awesome. And you just saved me 2 minutes of research with the "Jell-O" thing. I had it as "Jell-o." 🙂
It is all in the details. I hope your body gets time to recover.
Bwahahaha! Those are the best lessons ever. I'm a little confused as to why batshit isn't and bum-fuck is. Is there a rule? Who makes the profanity hyphen rules?
Hope you can get some rest now!
10. The difference between further and farther.
I cannot think of these two words and not be reminded of "Finding Forrester." If you have not seen that movie, you should give it a try.
You number one had me in hysterics! I loved that your copy editor looked up the game stats. That’s a great editor!
Congrats on getting your copyedits done! Whoo hoo! That means the date is getting closer…
Congratulations on finishing your copy-edits!
LOL. Some of those made me laugh!
These are some absolutely hilarious -and useful- lessons. Glad things are going well!
DL – Don't worry too much about what to hyphenate and what not to hyphenate. Every publisher seems to have their own way of doing things. I was given a 6-page "Style Sheet" so that I could stay consistent to their guidelines. For instance, some publishers like spelling out the word "okay" (mine does) and some will change it to "OK".
I laughed for a good 5 minutes when I saw that I had spelled cameltoe wrong. But then again, mistletoe is one word. But then again, they're not remotely the same thing! Bwahahaha.
What I wouldn't give to get my hands on some of those style sheets just for curiosity's sake! I had no idea each publisher had their own. Explains a lot about why books differ so drastically.
bwahahahahah…funny stuff, Jen. Too, too funny.
Can't figure out why you didn't just title this post Batshit and Bum-fuck…
@JB, hahahahhaahahha…
she's got a point, Jen 🙂
"Seriously, I always learn something from your blog," he said sheepishly.
My aching body should not have been put through the hilarity of this post. I can't stop laughing. I don't even know which one is my favorite! I love how you are always able to put such a humorous twist on things. Your poor neck and tailbone. I hope you will treat them to a massage!
thanks for the heads up – seriously. Because I am definitely going to remember that about Jell-O. And the too many dialogue tags. I think I may be guilty of that one.
OMG, laughing so hard right now! I'm sorry for your copy edit pain, but this is some funny stuff. You put your torture to excellent use.
JB – Batshit and bum-fuck would definitely have made a more interesting title! LOL.
Copy editing was such an interesting experience because while it was really tedious (and it WAS!), it was also fun (and funny!).
Also, I hadn't read my book in a while… and it hit me while editing just how much profanity there is in this book. And sex. Just warning you all now.
Oh, this was beautiful! I totally want to read a book that uses Jell-O three times and needs to have proper spelling for batshit and bum-fuck.
I totally want to read your book now.
If it contains the words bum-fuck (who knew it had a hyphen??), Jell-O and cameltoe, I'm in.
Yay for those copy editors. Sounds like you have some good ones to work with:)) Congrats again on your book!
Thanks guys! I have a great publishing team and it's been nothing short of an amazing experience so far. I am so, so lucky.