;} catch(e) {})
Non-writer: I’ve always wanted to write a book. I think I will when I have some free time.Me: Cool. I’ve always wanted to be a doctor. I think I will when I have some free time.
Non-writer: Have you ever considered self-publishing? I know a guy who did that with his memoir on alcoholism/new diet plan that really works/how-to-book on building homemade bombs. And he sold like, fifty copies.
Me: No, I haven’t considered it. Because I don’t write memoirs/diet books/how-to-books, and I’d really like to sell more than fifty copies.
Non-writer: Have you ever thought about writing a non-fiction novel?
Me: Of course. I dream about it. Because if I did, I’d be the first person in the history of the world to do so.
Non-writer: You should really talk to my friend X. She also wants to be a writer. She writes for her school paper/has a gossip blog/writes advertising copy. You’d have lots in common.
Me: Thanks. And you should really talk to my friend Z. She, too, has long hair. And a cat. And sometimes wears pink nail polish. You’d have lots in common.
Non-writer: Why do you like thrillers? Do you have fantasies about killing people?
Me: Why did you like Avatar? Do you have fantasies about being blue?
Non-writer: I don’t really like books.
;} catch(e) {}){kind=link}
ROFL — Great list!
I'm pretty sure I've experienced all of them. Multiple times.
My favorite was the guy who told me he knew how to write a guaranteed best seller. He told me that someday he's going to write the third book of the bible!
too funny…lmao
Very insightful, Jenny. You should write a book! LOL
Too, too funny! And might I add that I miss that bunny poster from your office? It often summed everything I wanted to say…. 🙂
Ahh the bunny poster… saying something really mean but with the friendliest smile. An art form all by itself!
As for this post, I'm sure I could get my friends to write an equally interesting essay on The Annoying Things Writers Say To Non-Writers That They Don't Realize Are Annoying.
hahahah these are so funny. I used to get stuff similar to this when i was playing tennis. "Oh you play tennis? So can you get me front seat tickets when you play at Wimbledon? [insert laugh people do when they think they made a funny joke or have said something original and clever]"
like there's way to answer that question. Either you sound cocky and people don't take you seriously: "Yes, let me just write that down. Okay got it. Are you interested in tea and crumpets with the queen as well?" or you have to act all abashed and aw-shuck-sy and undermine everything you are working towards: "No, heh heh heh… I'm awful at tennis I'll never get there." You're backed into a corner, not least because you know they don't ACTUALLY want tickets to Wimbledon, they just want to see how highly you think of yourself. The latter answer was probably one of my most used responses (second only to a combination of chuckling uncomfortably and mumbling noncommittal sounds while I wait for them to walk away) but the problem with it is that its usage inevitably leads to this remark: "Oh well you should get together with my daughter, she's very serious as well, she plays in a league every other summer! She's got a zinger of a forehand!!! You guys are probably about the same level. You two could whack the ol' ball around for a while and probably really hit it off! Let me get you her number." Which is along the same lines as "Oh you're from to China? My friend Chang is from China, do you know him??" or "Oh. My God. Is that a ham sandwich?? You won't believe this: one of my good friends ALSO loves ham sandwiches. Let me get you their number!…."
People are idiots.
***There's NO way to answer that question (typo)
I usually like animals better.
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