Jennifer Hillier

Slow and steady

Nov 18, 2009 | Uncategorized

It’s been raining steadily in Seattle for the past few days, and the forecast is calling for steady rain for the rest of the week.  I think for Seattleites, this must not be a big deal.  I can imagine that if you grew up here, you’d be used to it.  It would be your normal.  But for me, it’s harder than I thought it would be.  Waking up every morning to gray, gloomy skies and the staccato of rain pelting the windows is depressing.

Screen shot from my Google home page (click to enlarge):
(And yes, I like to know the forecast for Toronto, too.)

I remember we had relatives who moved to Toronto from the Philippines a few years back, and they were in agony during their first winter.  It wasn’t even that cold, but they were really freaked out by all the snow and ice and the below-freezing temperatures.  Even with winter coats and scarves and boots, Toronto was painfully cold for them and they wondered if they’d ever adjust.

They didn’t.  They moved back to the Philippines the following spring.

My point being (because no, this really isn’t a post about the weather), the lack of sun is draining my energy.  Freezing temperatures, I can handle.  Snow, I can handle.  But no sun?  I’m a night owl and a broody bitch by nature, but hell, even I need some sunshine in my life.  I’m on Vitamin D supplements and I have this little sun lamp that shines on my face for thirty minutes every day while I’m working, but it’s not quite enough.  Tanning beds used to help, but my best friend and I swore off tanning last year because we’re at that age where premature aging is a real concern (damn you, wrinkles!).

And so that, my friends, is my excuse for falling behind in NaNoWriMo.  If NaNoWriMo was a marathon, I’d have tripped back at the 5k mark and fallen flat on my ass.  And not been able to get up.

But I also have to admit that I feel no real sense of urgency with this new book.  And here’s the good news. While it’s bad for NaNoWriMo (that 50k goal gets further and further away), it’s not really a bad thing overall.  I wrote my first two novels with an underlying sense of panic the entire time.  I was constantly worried I wouldn’t be able to finish, and that’s a lot of stress.

But with this new book, I’m not worried. It’ll get written.  It will.  I’ve done it before and I’ll do it again.  Whether I make the 50k goal for the month or not, I’ll finish this novel.  I’ll workshop it. I’ll revise it.  I’ll polish it till it shines.  And it’ll be ready sometime in 2010, for sure.

There are a lot of things I doubt about myself when it comes to writing, but the one thing I no longer doubt is my ability to finish what I’ve started.  Seeing CREEP through to the end is by far my proudest accomplishment for 2009.  So, congrats to me for getting this far.

And congrats to me for wanting to keep going.